Living-Machine's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Metal Gear Get 2]

I ran out of characters for review! had tosqaushit

I've actually written a review to you before, but under a different alias...oooow, cool alias...I was Tweek before -> but that wasn't memorible enough so i changed it to something more red and skully.
I'd like to ask why you always refer to yourself as "we" i mean, what? are you some kind of basted!?... I mean crazy person? or do you actually have a team..
By the way i think you did all the voices for snake really well, except the simple text one, that is annoying.
hahah crotchless panties
The credits part was the best, you should have just subbmitted a long credits thingo.
In terms of improvments which i can recomend - which will probably be ignored but i like to put down anyway, in the faint hope that they'll have the slightest influence on later work - I don't think you should have made the faces of the people shake quite so much as it was rather annoying. Also, if your going to make something like this, with very few pictures (which is fine mind you) then you could at least spend more than 5 minutes drawing the faces. It would have been ok if you made them look ridiculous by drawing them shit, but it just looked like some 12 year old had tried to draw them.
In a couple of your replies and notices about flashes thingys you mentioned you make these while your drunk/stonned and i would just like to congratulate you on this achievement. Frankly I don't know how the shit you did that. If i tried to construct anything - least of all a flash work - while i was stonned i would probably end up being distracted by the letter "R" and then thinking i should eat some more before the flying pussies come...I'm sure you know where i'm going with this. Anyway well done on that.
I haven't written a review for a while and am pissed off the find that Newgrounds have changed the format the reveiw page, its now too small and considerablely more shit, consequentally i'm typing this is microsoft word. I thought you should know that because i know your a caring person...somehow.
An overal score of 6 might seem a bit shit considering how much i enjoy your work over all, but a line must be drawed somewhere! Cause i didn't like this as much as other stuff you've done. Persons will vote 5 and review 10 for people such as LegendaryFrog (just an example) just because they see his name on it, rather than for the actual skill which has gone into his animation.
Also you'd have to understand that if i were to give it a 10, espesially because its been made to make you laugh, i would have to have had laugh my ass off, literally, and some flash has done that to me, i've sat there and laughed for 5 minutes and watched it over and over again, when you can do that to me, i'll give it 10.
Another suggestion: I like the way your voice sounds speeded up, it's funny, it reminds me of a gay chipmonk, which we don't have in Australia...we have possums - do you have them in EuroEnglishlnd? - i think you should try slowing down your voice as well, cause that would be heaps funny and then you would (as you said to me last time i wrote something to you,) sound like Barry White, who, most irronically, is a black man, While having a name like white...
By now your probably wondering why i'm still writing, and that my friend is because it's all about quality, not quantity. Which is irrelevent considering what i'm about to say.
Also people will be impressed when they inevitably go to my profile and veiw my reviews.
Well i don't really have anything more to say about your flash, but if you type in "fuck a duck" or anything that rhymes with those syllables sympletext, you'l find it's quite funny, so give that a shot.
I’l give you the statistics of this review:
·Spelling and grammatical errors: 56
·Words: 746
·Characters (no spaces): 3,346
·Characters (spaces): 4,122
·Time to write: about 15 minutes
·Music listened to while writing: The Crystal Method
·Paragraphs: 25
·Lines: 77
·Word processor used: Microsoft Word
Hope you enjoyed, I know I did! And I hope to see more stuff from you!

cockjockey responds:

Unfortunately, Solid Snake probably won't be making another appearance for a while, as I am now blind from looking at the monitor for enough time to read your sequel to War and Peace/The Bible/Elton Johns list of people he's bummed. Just kidding, it's actually quite nice to read a review every once in a while that doesn't just say "Dat woz gud mak more" or "you're shit diediedie" or one of those idiots that insults you with every key except the ones with letters on them. I'm so impressed I'm actually going to acknowledge every last point you made.
1. "We" refers to myself and the othere guy who did most of the actual work. We're not really in touch anymore coz I was a bit of a twat and lost his PC and... long story. I'm working on getting it back tho, maybe one day. Mind you he does have a mohawk now so I'm not so sure I'd like to be seen in public with him anymore. If you're reading Paul, just kidding :)
2. We got stoned for the PS3 thing, but were mainly just drunk for this one on Fosters by a weird coincidence ("Fosters - Australian for piss").
3. A 12 year old?!?!? Cheeky sod, I'll have you know that kid was nine, and it was a damn good achievement. Plus he had no arms and he was epileptic. He'd go on photoshop for five minutes, have a fit, then we'd snap the fucker out of it and make him sit there til it was done.
4. I'd have given it four quite frankly just on the basis that the intro is TOO FUCKING LONG. The reason for that is I love the bit of music that went with it (Plunkett and Maclane Soundtrack by Craig Armstrong, Hanging Scene, for those of you with the interweb and a downloady thingy), so nurr.
5. I don't think we have possums or chipmunks over here, the wildlife is so boring that a paint drying observation tournament in Belgium would be preferable. If we did have them though, they'd probably be gay.
6. I was going to say something about my friend Steve Native American who isn't really a Native American at all or Steve Italian, or Steve Eskimo, but theres a spliff being made right next to me and its nearly done so I really can't be arsed anymore. Pete (the roller) says hi, incidentally.
Again, thanks for the epic review and don't you dare fucking ever write another one because I can't be doing with getting RSI from a reply again.
Stay frosty

[The Locks are Bored 2]

Give a one-line summary of your review...how?

I just finished watching all your stuff, and, to tell the truth, it's not that bad. I used to think i hate all locks/clocks animations no matter what, but now i justs hates the lockses. THE LOCKSES! WE HATES THEM....

By the way, i like to write unnessisariliy long and meaningful/less reviews.

I really like that tank. Did you draw it? cause you seem to have it somewhere at least once in each of your animations. It's the metal slug tank right? Oh how i love that game...

I know you know i know you know that i know but i think you should make at lesat some of your stuff longer..cause its funny, but it all seems to continue on from the previous thing so you might as well make it just the one submission so people (like me) can look at it in one session rather than three.

Your good at shadowing which is good. Submissions what lack shadowing just don't have that nice touch about them..so, keep ..erm, doing good stuff!

I'm just saying this cause for the last person i reviewed i expressed my discontent towards his use of swords which were too short for the characters. Anyway he wrote back and paid me out for writing such a long review and not having submitted anything yet well, i'm WORKING ON IT! i just don't wanna send in shit to "test it"...Anyway, so, i thought you should know that too.

Now for more about YOUR movies!

I really like that sound when grim clock or whatever that thing is hits people with its little spiked bat, Thwak! Where'd you get that sound? where do you get sound like that? and while we're on sounds, how do you make the lock's voices? I know of a similar feature in SimpleText but it can only do like one voice like that you seem to have heaps.
Also you have a "fully awsome sick arsonal" of good music. You've got your korn, you've got your System of a Down, and you've got your Rammstein. all good!

GLARG!

Although you clearly like Locks, for some reason or another, i think it would be good if you made, at lesat some stuff that didn't have them. I'm not saying stop with the locks, cause you wont', but there is more to the world and lollie pops and bubblegum i'm afraid!

What's OCP? and what are those things that come out of him? And most importantly why is that man with bleed (yes bleed) coming out of his eye...

Your cool things section are really cool, most people who make stuff like that do it really badly, and arn't creative at all. i like the effect you use where they sort of stretch in a direction, then back again, really quickly, how do?
It's also very kind of you to put seizur warnings...But people will think your strange...

You know, apparently Glarg is a real word? but only when you spell it GLARG, i checked with word.

Character count: 2664, jeez, i still have another 1432 words characters left...oh well, this will have to do. I would write more but yesterday i was exerciseing my middle finger with a bulldog clip and now my whole arm hurts...

Your truely, Tha Red Skull

AubergineLock responds:

ho

ly

shit. You love to type don't you? Heh, now to answer your questions. Yes, i drew that tank, the design is taken from metal slug though. And when Gothlock hits people and the sound makes the wacking sound, i got that from flashkit.com, an excellent resource for sound effects.

I think i'll skip some of the other stuff, your reviews bigger than the xbox...

Glarg is a word gothlock made up, i know him in real life, he shouted it when anopther friend threw a box at his head.

Oh, i just noticed you reviewed all my other movies all in one! Well, i read your whole review and i found it very constructive,, and one of the best i have recived. I thankyou for your time.

[Syenika - Prologue]

Reminds me of Zelda

First of all, (nothing to do with you) I’d just like to emphasize my hate towards reviewers who write meaningless crap matter like:
"This is good, I love your work, keep it up." and
"WOW, I absolutely loved it, please make more in the future"
*Shudder*, so annoying.

My first complaint is the swords; they're too damn short. I mean honestly, how can anyone take you seriously if your sword is that short! I don't know if you've seen a manga called Berserk, but I suggest you do so you can see what swords should REALLY be like. I mean it’s just so short. Argh! my dick is longer than that guys sword, (comparatively speaking [if he were real]).
Then I noticed it wasn't just the sword! The Ork's (or whatever it was) axe was like a novelty sized double bladed butterknife. Ridiculous!
Ok, so, like to see an improvement in the all out size of the weapons, check.

Is that the song from the Fifth Element I hear? If so, excellent use of it, I love that film, and that song, and it worked well with the blacksmith. If not, then, never mind, I don't know, good sound track anyways.

I was kinda surprised, I saw this cool preloaded and ominous music, then it gets the background story and I hear this voice (probably your's [no offence]) and it totally doesn't fit. I almost laughed. You should definitely hire a voice actor or get a friend to help or, maybe, buy a better microphone. Just something, so the characters can "sound" up to their stylish looks.

I'll be incredibly surprised (and happy) if you actually continue with this series. Most people tend to make a big fancy nice looking trailer, which looks like it will be a good story, then don't follow through.

I would like to see an apearance by Dr. Ocolot later in the series as well, Thankyou.

Yours,
Tweek.

ShadowInsignia responds:

Honestly man no offense, But im noticing its the people who hasnt submitted a flash movie to NG, has the most to say. Swords come in all shapes and sizes, I'm sorry I didn't meet your needs. You might wanna find some FF7 fan media since big long things seems to be your bag. I'm honestly not being mean to you, im just telling the truth.
Oh and by the way, the reviews with general comments are there just for some support, I much rather read those (not cause im lazy) than read novels written by negative critics

[Zomborg Apocalypse - 006]

Ooowwwhh! I love the way your so horribly good.

Just finished watching them all, they really are qutie fiendish...That's a good thing too. There should be more feindishness on NewGrounds, i think that would be good.

You've pretty much got this style down pat, which is great. True quality right from the first episode.

I hope you will keep making these for years to come, and one day the series will hopefully become a featured legendary NewGrounds series. You know, the type that EVERY user knows and has seen, like Chocobo Remix.

Its good that you haven't soiled the series with cursing, although it can be funny, this animation doesn't need it at all.

Your main character reminds me of Steven Stalone....except excatly the opposite of him.

I'm not sure if its a just that i'm on a slow computer or not, but some of the scenses seem to be very slow..Must be me.

The black and white is also a good touch, it brings about a sense that has not been seen in film since the first and only scary Dracula. Although this isn't a film and what i just wrote above is clearly a lie, its still nice to see something in good ol' Black and White.

I'm sorry for the jumpy-abouty-ness of this review (and length), im kind of tired. I couldn't thing to do before going to sleep than watching your captivating animation...Well maybe sex. But that is not availiable so this will have to do for tonight!

I'm going to be honest with you. What made me decide to write this review was that you said you respond to all reviews, and i like to give myself a false sense of social status amonst people i will never meet. You know, an unnecisary ego boost...

But enough about me, back to your animation.
One thing i could think of which would be cool, for future addiontions to the series, would be some kind of cool heavy rock music, just in a battle or something. Obviously don't replace the suspencful parts with it, just in a short battle i think it would be cool, and give some people a chance to bang their head for a minute.

Great series, thanks for bringing it to so many happy fans.

SPLANKGY responds:

headbangin fans are happy fans right?
I'm really glad you liked this one redskull, and decided to splooge such a huge review. I'm not really sure what to say about it, but thanks for writing it! it was interesting at the least! THANKS!

[\ Dirty Trick /]

You know, its not clay, its plastisien.

I hope you get to read this.
Yes i hope indeed.
Although your frame rate weren't that great.
There were some nice loooking scenes.
So now i write a poem for you.
To ask you question one.
Where did you get that song, that song?
I would like one.

WHAT's THAT FUCKING SONG CALLED! It kicked fare asshole, and i wan' it. Thanks.

Viper-Studios responds:

Just type in Final Fantasy X and it should pop up as otherworld or something in either kazaa or limewire

[A Shattered Shield - 01]

detailed characters

apart from the detailed characters ^, not all that great. in my humble opinion it needed music, and they shouldent have stood dead still while they were talking. also, its like the dont move smoothly, they sorta jump around, which is pretty annoying. good story though. im spending all this time writing a long review cause i've seen some of your other stuff and its good, and it would be great to see some improvements, also, just to get that 'odd' guy's review off the page.

^_^

Dark-Boy responds:

Thanks man,it was very duely noted.I agree this one needed some work for it time,but I learnt alot form this short.Thanks for the input man.

[PS3 Publicity Drive]

so magic it fucking hurts...comedy gold

this is good. Mr CockJocky...the shitty animation was made up for by the superb audio. and as im sure you hear alot, you are Pretty Darn English.

one more thing

did you speed up your voice or are you just retarded? ^_^

cockjockey responds:

Cheers Mr T. To answer your question, both. Its sped up, I sound like Barry White in real life. And I'm retarded. Can't believe we got a 0 for violence given the reactions we've had from PS2 fanboys. The really ironic thing is, the only console I now own is in fact a PS2. Fuckers. Anyway, thanks for the review, you've given me another excuse to not be doing what I'm supposed to at work.

[A and P]

Datz fuuuurny

dis is good shit, its good, and its funny how stupid it makes americans how talk like that look. bahaha....its also funny how they are just little dots.

what it needs is some music, like, somthing like elevator music or something cause then it would seem just like one of those stupid adds where they say how good they are and how hard they try to make themselves good.

Keep it coming.

rudiger2 responds:

errr yeah i had no idea what you just put but thanx. ^_^